I go to hug my little sister at the kitchen table and suddenly we’re both crying. I cradle her in my arms as wordless sobs wrack through her. I know that there are other girls, so many other girls, across this country feeling the way she is right now. I know because I did, and I hurt because even though I did she still seems … Continue reading On brown girls learning to be Self AND Other
CW: discussion of racism, islamophobia, presidential election, fear. This is not a clever political analysis and this is not an attempt at explanation. This post is purely feelings. It is feelings because feelings are deemed irrelevant in political discourse and devalued as feminine traits more widely. I’d like to think its transgressive to write only from the perspective of feelings then. But more than that, … Continue reading On Fear
Content Warning: body image, beauty standards, white supremacy, male gaze, misogyny, sexualisation, desirability. The other day I saw a post online which articulated something to me that I have never properly addressed. It wasn’t complex, it was very straightforward, and that’s why it hit me so hard. It said, ‘I’m realising that all the girls I was jealous of n thought were super beautiful n … Continue reading ‘Classically beautiful’ just means White
Seeing all the new faces around Cambridge this past week has made me rather sentimental. Memories of fresher’s week and the whole fear-ridden first term come flooding back. I search amongst those new faces especially for brown and black faces. I search for them because I wish somebody had searched for me. Everytime I see a woman in a hijab I feel overwhelmed with excitement, … Continue reading Cambridge: the benevolent aggressor
Content Note: discussion of class-identity and being racialisd. This is the first year I have watched and begun to follow The Great British Bake Off. Whilst some people have seen this as a travesty in terms of how late it is in the day; others have laughed at my entering the ranks of the white middle-classes. Now hold up just a second. I get that … Continue reading Is it possible to be Middle-Class whilst being brown?
This week I got a brief and exhilarating taste of the legitimacy with which people can treat you with if you’re white. I was ringing around archives to find out about dissertation research and at one point I realised, everyone was treating me with a bizarre level of legitimacy that I had not before experienced in doing my research. In that moment, it hit me. … Continue reading On “Sounding White” and Being Brown